


The Panty Snatcher 2: Electric Boogaloo

by IrisoPage



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Oral Sex, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reader has a vagina, Reader-Insert, Shapeshifting, ghost pussy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisoPage/pseuds/IrisoPage
Summary: Snatcher's back at it again, only by now, Reader is used to it. Will Reader's laundry ever get done, or will all of their undergarments be taken ransom by a horny ghost?
Relationships: Snatcher (A Hat in Time)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64





	The Panty Snatcher 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure if I wanted another chapter or a sequel, so I went straight to sequel.

Laundry day; the day that separated the lazy from the executive dysfunctional. Regardless of where you stood on the subject, you needed to do laundry asap.

You were down to the bottom of the barrel, forced to wear that dreaded souvenir t-shirt at the back of your closet. You managed to complete the look with lacy and rather impractical panties that were 'buy three, get one twenty-five percent off' at some point in time. You can't remember when that time was, so it's probably been a while since this particular pair saw the light of day. It's not like you were going anywhere, for laundry day was a sacred all-day event.

You decided to move all of your dirty laundry near the washing machine, so you could prioritize which should be washed first. The last thing you didn't want to do again was only wash shirts and be stuck without clean pants.

Every bag and basket you owned was used to carry the mountain of clothes, but it still took several trips. Eventually, you were down to your final trek down the hallway. You stopped halfway there when you spotted a large shadow on the wall.

Even from the silhouette, it was clear the figure was rifling through your dirty laundry. It tossed your clothing every which way, completely disinterested in most articles. It did take a moment to hold up a shirt to its torso for size, but threw it away with the rest. When it finally found the treasure it was seeking, it held it up triumphantly and let out an all too telling laugh.

"Old habits die hard, huh?” You step into the room and accusingly stare at the intruder.

The figure straightens up and whips around to face you, quickly hiding the panties behind its back.

**“Oh, it's you. What brings you here?"** Snatcher asks nonchalantly, looking like his usual smug self.

"I live here?" You remind him as you set down the rest of your laundry.

**“Hmm, that would explain the taste in decor, or rather, the** **_lack_ ** **of taste.”** He glances around as if your laundry room was supposed to be something impressive. 

“If you think it’s so distasteful, then why are you always here?”

**“Hmm, you have a point…”** He rubs thoughtfully at his chin, your panties dangling from his hand before his face lights up.  **“I should redecorate! I think I can really spruce up this little hovel of yours!”**

You made a mental note to hide your Halloween decorations somewhere he wouldn’t look for them, like the refrigerator. Anything to keep your seasonal items from becoming your everyday items. 

"I would rather you didn't, but that doesn't mean much to you, does it?"

**"Not really, no."**

At least he was being honest.

"Can you at least keep in the bedroom? I might at least  _ try  _ to appreciate it if it's in there."

**"I'm sure we can work out a** **_deal_ ** **of some sort."** He winks.

“Take what you want, I guess. It’s not like anything I say is going to stop you anyway." You wave dismissively at your destroyed laundry piles before you start to load your washing machine.

Snatcher gives you a look that proves that was going to happen regardless. He glances between the panties he’s holding and the one you’re wearing, then the one he’s holding again. His face crumples into a frown before he tosses the pair in his hand over his shoulder.

**“I’d rather have this pair.”** His fingers wiggle excitedly as he bends down to grab your waistband.

“Hey, these are my last clean pair!” You protest, trying to back away but his grasp is firm.

**“They won’t be when I’m done with them.”** He assures, as if this somehow justifies himself.

“What else am I supposed to wear if you keep stealing my clothes?”

**“I heard the ‘pussy out’ look is ‘in’ right now.”** He grins as he yanks your underwear down your legs.

You’re skeptical of where exactly he heard that from. You step out of them before he gets the chance to trip you and make you fall right out of your own undergarments. He holds them up proudly, gazing upon your undergarments with a salacious expression. You ignore your sudden half-nudity in favor of glaring up at the perpetrator.

"Now what?" 

**"What more is there to do?"**

You gesture to yourself as if it were the obvious answer.

**"I only came here to do one thing, so my calendar has been cleared for the rest of the day.”** He boasts as he twirls the panties around in his wrist.

"I only came down here to one thing too, but then a pervy ghost got in my way." You try to focus on your laundry, despite the chilly breeze of the room brushing over your lower regions.

**“You have one less thing to wash now. You’re welcome!”**

You sigh, knowing well arguing with Snatcher was near impossible. You load your washing machine, ignoring the figure that watches you closely in between his fliting with your underwear. His tongue flicks out of his mouth like a snake to inhale your scent, before he licks at the front of the panties.

You resist the urge to call out his behavior as you start the cycle and plop yourself on top of the machine, already exhausted from doing one load of laundry.

**“Trying to feel taller?”**

"It's like an industrial vibrator, at least when the spin cycle kicks in.” You shrug, leaning back and closing your eyes tiredly.

**"Hmm, I don't wear clothes."** He shrugs and looks at you with an expression of 'holier than thou because I don't do menial chores.'

“You just steal mine all the time, right?”

**"EXACTLY!"** He cackles wildly, his voice echoing around the room.

You close your eyes and hope that he would eventually get bored and leave. While you try to enjoy your spin cycle in peace, a shadow slowly inches closer to you.

**"Oh? You were serious?"** His voice lowers into a genuine curiosity.

"I forgot to buy batteries. This is the way of the future."

**"The way of the future is loud and clunky."**

"You're loud and clunky, and you don't vibrate." 

His eyes narrow before his expression twists into something curious yet unrecognizable.

**"Hmm, let me try."**

You don't have a chance to protest when he easily scoops you and steals your seat atop the machine. He sets you down in his lap, holding firmly to your hips to keep you from wriggling away. He ponders the sensation for a moment, debating if he likes it.

**“I suppose I can see the appeal.”** He sounds unsure, but makes no effort to move.

You can feel the vibrations through him, like you were sitting on a water bed. He’s so soft and cushy, you're a little afraid you might sink into him.

He doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest that you’re creating a wet spot on his lap. That might be the main reason why he doesn’t seem to want to let you go anytime soon.

A sudden coldness presses between your legs and you crane your neck to stare up at him.

"Snatcher…” You said in an accusatory tone, feeling the chill tingle down below.

He still looks unimpressed, but acknowledges your complaint by looking down at you.

**"Hmm, you're already doing laundry. How about you get rid of this?"**

You find this is more of a demanding suggestion than a suggestive demand.

His hands sneak under your shirt, feeling you up hungrily. Those claws off his brushing along your skin, threatening to scratch if you writhe too much.

"I have a feeling this is what you really came here for." You suspect as you assist with pulling your shirt off before he gets a chance to shred it.

**"And here I thought you liked surprises."** He rests his forehead on top of your head, gazing at you hungrily as he tries to spot the perfect view.

His fluff tickles the back of your neck while a sudden chilly wetness presses between your legs. Snatcher groans quietly as he saps the warmth from your form. If it wasn't for you becoming hot and bothered, you would start to protest.

“Having fun?" 

**"It's better than nothing."** His digits continue to walk themselves up and down your frame as his face presses into your neck.  **"You know what else is better than nothing?"**

_ "You?" _

**"Well, now you** **_really_ ** **get nothing."** Snatcher shoves you off of his lap, directly into a pile of your dirty laundry. You're unsure if this was preferable to being tossed on the floor.

You throw your still warm souvenir shirt at him, though it just phases through him and lands in a different laundry pile.

"So what, you're just going to sit on my washer all day?" 

**"Pretty much."** He shrugs, clearly having nothing better to do with his time.  **“Why don’t you make yourself useful and fetch me a drink?"**

He leans back on his hands, tail swishing back and forth quite contently as he enjoys the vibrations of his newest plaything.

You watch this odd display of self servicing for a moment before you pick yourself up from the laundry piles and dust yourself off. You consider actually making drinks in your birthday suit. It's not like he would be moving from his new favorite toy anytime soon.

"You're really enjoying that, aren't you?"

**"At least one of us is."** He smiles as he starts inspecting your panties again.

You're not sure what made that particular pair different from the rest, but you didn't feel like hearing any long winded and lewd speeches about your own undergarments.

While he's distracted, you take a glance at what one could possibly refer to as a vulva. You can tell that he notices you staring when his fingers frame and spreads his opening.

**"Admiring the view?"**

"Has this always been there?" You point at it in slight disbelief.

**"Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. Depends on the day, really."**

"So, one might say that you  _ have a snatch?" _

**"Like I haven't heard that one before."**

"It's very fitting, considering you're both a dick and a pussy."

**"Now you're starting to get a bit more creative, though just barely."**

"I try."

**"That's a good word for it."**

"What else can you do?"

Snatcher taps a finger to his chin in thought, though he seems to already have an idea in mind. His form shrinks considerably, though it doesn't do much to make him less intimidating.

Your eyes meet an almost perfect copy of yourself, though purple and slightly more Snatcher-like then you've even looked before. He makes a show of running his hands down 'his' body as he starts moaning overdramatically.

**_"Oh, Snatcher. I've never met someone as talented and handsome as you. Won't you ravish me already?"_ **

His face contorts in mock pleasure before it turns into a smug smirk.

"Meh, I've seen better." You wave dismissively, regardless if you've actually seen a better imitation of yourself or not. "And I'd never use the word  _ ravishing." _

**"I still think I wear it better."** He gestures to 'himself' and makes a show of blowing you a kiss before he shifts back into his usual noodly self.

"At least my bits don't glow in the dark."

**"How unfortunate for you."**

"At least I can j.o. without everyone knowing."

**"Where's the fun in that? Having an audience can really liven the mood."**

"Since when have you-" You start before realizing that his audience was, in fact, usually you.  _ "Nevermind." _

Surprisingly, he decides not not to comment and leaves you to eat your own words instead. You smartly change the subject.

“One day I’m going to buy a blacklight and shine it on anything I’ve seen you come in contact with.”

**“Good luck reaching your ceiling.”**

You were already all too familiar with how much Snatcher had a tendency to stain anywhere he decided was worthy of perching upon. This may or may not have included your furniture, your clothes and/or your face. You wouldn't doubt he somehow managed to deface your ceiling.

"You're dripping all over my washing machine."

**"You're closer. You clean it up."**

"With what? My dirty laundry?" You swear he would enjoy that anyway.

**"Do you plan on voicing any more complaints? I might have to start charging you at this rate."** Snatcher declares as if he owned the place, or at least started paying rent.  **"Why don't you put that mouth of yours to a better use?**

"And what would you prefer I do with my mouth?" You have a pretty good idea, but it's fun to egg him on.

Snatcher answers by holding up his claws to his mouth, his tongue slithering between his fingers to demonstrate what he wanted. The tip of his tail beckons you closer in a come hither motion.

You have to admit, he looks pretty good through the smugness and inflated ego.

_ Almost good enough to eat. _

You kneel down awkwardly, using your laundry pile to boost you up to be level with his cooch. You press a kiss to his opening, flattening your tongue against him and feeling his wetness coat your taste buds. Ghosts don't really taste like anything in particular, but you consider that a good thing. You allow your head to do most of the grunt work as you lick his hole from bottom to top, taking your sweet time with every lick.

**"There you go."** His hand rests atop your head and ruffles your hair.  **"Get** **_riiiiight_ ** **in there."**

His tail wraps around you and pulls you closer, encouraging you to put a bit more enthusiasm into your licking.

**"Isn't this a much better use of your time after all?"**

That was arguable, but you can only hope to shut him up with your exceptional eating out skills. If he was any colder, you swear your tongue would get stuck to him. It  _ was  _ pretty refreshing, though, compared to literally any other genitalia you've encountered before.

Your hands don't have much to work with, considering he doesn't have thighs, but thankfully your mouth takes care of everything. Snatcher shifts underneath every time you suck along his opening and massaging his clit makes him practically  _ writhe. _

You know you must be doing a good job when Snatcher finally trades in any last snarky remarks in exchange for quiet moaning. If your laundry room wasn't haunted before, it sure sounded like it with all of the  **_"Ooooooo~"-ing_ ** that escaped his lips.

His grip tightens on your head, his form slouching over you and covering you in a chilly shadow as he cums on your tongue.

Between Snatcher squeezing your skull and feeling like you were just hit with a frozen slushball, this was one of Snatcher's more tame climaxes.

He looks down at you and admires his handiwork, coming down from his high almost impossibly fast, by human standards, at least.

You pull away and hold your head in your hands.

_ "Your pussy gave me brain freeze." _

**"AHAHAHAHA!"** He throws his head back as he roars with laughter.  **"You don't hear that one every day!"**

You moan in agony and rest your head on his lap, wondering what paranormal pussy rule you broke to end up this way.

**_"Allow me to warm you up."_ ** Snatcher purrs before you feel yourself being lifted. 

He sets you on top of the washer and takes your place floating beside it. The cold feeling in your head subsides, in exchange for a strong heat between your legs.

**"Would you like that?"**

He looks up at you, his cool breath pressing against your lower regions, though it doesn't do much to provide any relief from the warmth overtaking your entire body.

_ "Please?" _

**"Well, if you're asking nicely…"** He stops himself from going off into a tangent, the hungry look on his face never faltering as he buries his face between your legs.

His tongue is long and thin, like a snake's and much more flexible than any human's. While his tongue was cool, it wasn't nearly as frigid as other parts of him. His mouth becomes warmer the more he eats you out, ebbing away frosty feelings inside you. His hands caress your hips, fingers playing with flecks of a happy trail.

**"I love the way your breath hitches when I'm between your thighs."**

He pulls his face away to taunt at you, but one of his large fingers graciously takes its place.

**"All the little sounds you make are absolutely delicious...And the way you taste isn't half bad either!"** He laughs, though almost warmly.  **"I wonder how much of your juices I would have to lick up to get drunk off your taste."**

His voice oozes with lust as he straightens up, his form easily dwarfing yours. His finger pumps in and out of you, stretching and filling you quite nicely.

**"I almost don't want to let you finish… but my curiosity seems to be getting the better of me. I want to see what you look like when you cum."** He declares, his booming voice almost reverberating inside of you.  **"Regardless of whatever face you make, you had better be saying my name when you do it.** **_Understand?"_ ** His voice lowers as he pulls you close, pushing his digit in deeper and curling up into your sweet spot.  **_"Say it."_ **

_ "Snatcher!" _

The warm feeling overtakes you, spreading over your body and into your core. It heats you up, almost burning as it cascades up and down, inside and outside. You stare into those glowing eyes of his as the feeling sparks its last few embers before sizzling away.

**_"Huh… cute."_ ** Snatcher almost sounds surprised at your reaction, but still thoroughly pleased. He continues to hold you close, your laundry cycle well over and nearly forgotten.

**"I should do this more often, but I wouldn't want you to get spoiled rotten now."**

"If I'm spoiled rotten, what does that make you?"

**"Hedonism is all the rage these days."**

"Is that what you're calling it now?" You laugh tiredly, not wanting to move away.

**"Well, I suppose I can indulge you, at least once in a while… though not for free, of course."**

_ "Of course." _


End file.
